4 of Cups - Reflect, Resource and Rearrange

A person sits cross-armed and cross-legged on a grassy hillock and at the base of a tree. The tree trunk is straight and some leaves and branches can be seen overhead. A yellow hand emerges from a cloud and holds a cup - in a gesture toward the person. Their gaze appears to be downward toward 3 other cups set in a line in front of him, and in the foreground of the scene. A stand of trees and small hills can be seen in the distance. The sky is open and clear bright blue.

The 4 of Cups from the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot

It’s interesting that the most prominent and intriguing aspect in this moons card - the hand holding the cup, emerging from the cloud - is what seems least interesting to the main human character.

This mystical happening harks to the Ace of cups. I haven’t written about the Ace of cups for this monthly article; but it’s cameo here deserves acknowledgement.

… In general, I see all the Aces in the tarot (as 1’s) as the beginning of something. Whatever is emerging isn’t manifest or “real” yet - it’s just a glimmer, or suggestion of something, whose meaning or relevance might not be clear. Bursting forth from no-where it’s unexpected, perhaps a surprising gift from the universe.

But here it’s being ignored, perhaps considered irrelevant? Or if it is registered, it’s not believed. Instead discounted as an illusion?

Or it’s not even seen? - there’s boredom, apathy, or focus is elsewhere. In this case, it’s toward the 3 other cups laid out in a line.

Cups symbolise the domain of emotions, love, and relationships - intimate ones, between friends and family, and those spiritual in nature. And the 4’s are about stability and foundations - think the solid structure of a square.

So perhaps you’re reflecting on the nature and dynamic of these feelings and connections.

What are the strengths of my current relationships? Where and between whom do the bonds feel balanced and cohesive? or not?

What is the elephant in the room that nobody is talking about?

What might I be dismissing/ignoring/not seeing, that could offer a clue to a relationship or emotional problem?

You could also apply these reflections to different aspects of yourself - as inner characters that interact. Internal family Systems (IFS) is a type of psychotherapy that sees the mind as consisting of different sub-personalities that have different roles, perspectives and even memories. They can form dynamics much like family members. Due to hurts and traumas, a sub-personality might dominate (e.g. a critical one), while another is ‘exiled’ (e.g. a sensitive part), while another might try make peace or distract through unhelpful strategies (e.g. people pleasing, addictive behaviours). Ultimately this arrangement is unsustainable. The IFS process aims to bring these parts back to balance around a core self.

Are there parts of me that dominate? feel unheard? or tries to bandaid issues?

Rather than keep an unworkable dynamic going, is there another part that could contribute toward harmony?

I appreciate how the scene places the person in a natural and earthy environment at roots of a tree. It infuses this moment with an external source of stability. Their seated and crossed posture could be read as closed and defensive, but this position can also create containment and safety (try it out, and note the effects on your body).

Processing emotions and navigating the complexity of relationships can in itself be destabilising. It can take time for things to rearrange and feel steady. So this kind if grounding or earthing can be a resource to help prop things up while the psyche catches up to eventually be self-supporting.

What are the structures in my life that support me and hold space for my emotions and relationship dynamics?

What helps me feel grounded and steady?

There’s a bit of a Buddha-under-the-Bodhi-tree vibe here too, don’t you think? And while it doesn’t suggest anything close to true enlightenment, there’s a contemplative quality that indicates a desire for insight around the nature of emotions and connections. As I often like to do, a practice of imagining the scene forward can help unlock new awareness:

Practice: Take a similar position to the character, even go outside and find a tree to sit under … then, bring to mind a dynamic that seems unbalanced or confusing, and place that as an image or sense it in front of you. Stay with this for several even breaths, noting what arises in body-mind …. then lift your gaze, extending your view to beyond what is in front of you …. note what immediately comes into your awareness - a word or image, a sensation in your body, a memory, a knowing…? Reach toward it and bring it in for a closer look … perhaps ask it a question (e.g. what do I do with this?) … turn back to the issue and see how things might be rearranged for greater equanimity.

Much love,

Mendy ꩜

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